Are You Sure You Want To Cancel?

May 01

I used to follow Barbie on facebook for awhile. I’m 25.

Apr 18

chasingcoolness reblogged your post: UNFRIEND.

hahahaha. Honestly, I love Adam Duritz. He makes my coffee the way I like it.

Apr 11

UNFRIEND.

Mar 26

Dear Friend,

Thank you for replying to me for the sole purpose of shitting on something that I enjoy. Next time I’m reminded of your shitty taste in just about everything, I’ll be sure you let you know.

Love,

Me

Mar 23

The worst thing about a tailbone injury is that it hurts to fart and poop.

No clever comments here, just horrible, horrible pain when trying to do a few of my favorite things.

Mar 19

Stormy Bottoms

I can’t think of anything more fun than traveling for 9 hours and starting my pyramid. 

*runs out of the internet crying* 

Mar 13

Last night I made the mistake of following a bunch of derby girls and now my dash has been about 80% lesbian porn since then.

Editor’s note: Awesome.

Feb 27

“This almost makes me want a butt plug”

Regarding an octopus butt-plug cover made by ladypurl

Feb 11

Anonymous asked: I keep canceling replies (and submissions to this blog), because I keep remembering most people don't want to hear about my mother's bathroom habits.

Everyone reading this blog wants to hear about your mother’s bathroom habit, but more importantly: your reaction to them.

Jan 28

My dog is licking her butt in time with the song I’m listening to

I’m not sure if I’m amused or really creeped out.

Jan 26

• Brain: Okay, we fucked around on the internet long enough. It's time for bed.
• Me: Great! I'll just get under the cov
• Brain: WAIT WE HAVE TO POOP!

Jan 24

Here I sit, broken hearted.

Came to shit, but only farted. 

Jan 20

Why are we surprised a black guy was singing an Al Green song?

Jan 18

Jesus my boobs hurt. 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Que?

Dec 29

Anonymous asked: someone posted a picture of her kid snuggling with her in bed and the caption, "Someone charmed his way into my bed. Again." i wanted to reply, "i've had that happen, but not with a kid and with much worse results," but it just sounds too creepy. (certain people who read/run this tumblr know what post i'm talking about.)